Statistics Means Never Having To Say Youre Certain

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A lighthearted and (hopefully) humorous take on the world of statistics and those of us who make our way in it. Statistics Means Never Having to Say You’re Certain by Jay Arthur Statistics means never having to say you’re certain My hypotheses are Null I’m just trying to cull The signal from the noise Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain P values can’t be trusted My analysis is busted Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain The alternative hypothesis Is cramping my consciousness Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain My data isn’t normal Tukey’s test seems so formal Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain You can prove the means are different Equivalent but not the same Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain Wish they told me when I started The results could all be charted Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain

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